rehashing a previous post

i would like to briefly expand on some of the comments i made in my 'paralysis' post. i have spent the last week enjoying the space i have created for myself here. wandering the city on my own and passing afternoons, in between classes, at my now regular cafe (i cant remember the turkish name but the closest english equivalent is 'lazy soul cafe'). after a bit more time in this city and lifestyle i have realized that inactivity (although not really inactivity) is kind of the point. life here largely consists of cafes, tea, backgammon, cigarettes, conversation, and friends. city life isn't necessarily stagnant, it is just different. i have traded the woods for cafes, which is what has taken the most adjustment to. i still occasionally feel paralyzed in terms of my ability to push myself to grow, but even that is falling away. and i am learning to live with my feelings of discontent (i think lara really nailed it in her comment when she said, "I believe people who have accomplished more or are accomplishing more are the ones who are constantly in need of doing more."). having seth here certainly reenergized me and he helped me to take a critical look at my goals and how i was going about accomplishing them. i feel rejuvenated.