the return of the mind

the rand quote above probably deserves a bit of explaining. as i see it, this is my a sort of mission statement for my time here in istanbul. as most of you know my life for the past two years has been stormy to say the least, perhaps even tortuous at times. it was a bit of self-imposed suffering, playing the martyr. i finally realized i couldn't continue in that way. but rather than deal with it there, in that place, i chose to run. i removed myself from the various sources of my unhappiness to repair and reconstruct myself. i feel as though i have been more or less blindly stumbling my way through the last two years. living in an unconscious fog. no longer. i chose to move here in order to attempt to lift myself from the darkness. it is time for me to live for myself. analyze, evaluate, and change. i want to live deliberately rather than wander aimlessly. i wanted to put myself under the microscope of scrutiny and seriously think about myself, my life, how i think, and how i live. so here i am and there you are...